Baseball will never be the same after one minor league team gave fans the chance to drop a deuce without missing a pitch, CC BY 2.0,, via Wikimedia Commons

There is no better place for a man to be than sitting on his throne in the house. 

But men now have the mecca of all thrones thanks to one minor league team. 

And baseball will never be the same after one minor league team gave fans the chance to drop a deuce without missing a pitch.

Every king needs his throne

Back before a bunch of wimps in college came up with the term “safe space,” men across the nation had a safe space in their house where they could retreat to whenever the situation warranted it. 

The concept is simple. 

Men need to have one area in their domain where they can seclude themselves from their wives, kids, in-laws, and friends. 

Some men turn their garage into a safe haven. 

For others, the family knew that it was time to let the king rest once dad flopped himself down on the lazy boy. 

Some even have the means to turn their whole basement into a man cave. 

And there are still a handful of lucky guys out there who are able to retreat to their garage, man cave, or other safe space. 

But in today’s economy and housing market, men with that much wealth and substance rarely exist. 

And more often than not, men are forced to use their natural ability to stink in order to create a safe space in the last area of the house where no one wants to bother dad – the Loo.

It might be crude, but hiding out on the crapper is highly effective. 

Get yourself some air freshener spray, something to read, a pillow, and a snack, and the toilet can become a throne that any king in history would admire. 

One minor league baseball team is taking the concept of a man’s modern day throne to a new level. 

The Roto-Rooter Toilet Row

The Lake County Captains, the High-A affiliate of the Cleveland Guardians, have made a new line of luxury seats where any man would love to sit. 

They took a bunch of high end crappers and put them in as seating in the stands. 

And just to make these seats even more of the beast seats in the stadium, they put them right beyond home plate. 

“These aren’t just any seats; they’re super comfortable, elegantly designed, and offer unparalleled views of the action,” an announcement from the team read. “Each ticket holder in Toilet Row will also enjoy personalized attention from Horatio, our dedicated bathroom attendant, who will ensure that your needs are met with mouthwash, combs, and gum — keeping you fresh throughout the game.”

What more can a man ask for?

The “Roto-Rooter Toilet Row” seating is a MUST have for any baseball-loving man. 

Patriot Political will keep you up-to-date on any developments to this ongoing story.